I'm going to LA in a little under two weeks, and I am starting to really feel the potential that this trip could bring. Hard to believe a trip up the freeway could be so significant, but really...it's one of those things that could make or break my future, whether I know it or not.
I'm not feeling well right now, and I was trying to sleep, but I think my body thought I was taking a nap when I was trying to sleep through the night. So here I am.
I saw a bunch of people doing this meme, and I actually feel a want to do it myself. So here goes nothing. I think I'll do all ten at once, I don't feel like coming back each day. After this, I might write, since sleep clearly isn't happening at this point.One: Ten things you want to say to ten different people right now.
I think sometimes she wonders where you are. I didn't know you, so I can't miss you, but you should know that when she wonders, it's probably out of spite.
Do not come near me, do not come near my family or my friends, or I will hurt you. You are an old ghost that no one wants to see.
Every time I look at how he is and wonder what's wrong, I know to look at how you treated him. It disgusts me, and honestly, I hope you don't treat her the same. He'll grow out of it, someday. I'll make sure of it, if I have to. He is getting better, day by day.
Please keep talking to me. I like it when you do that. It beats feeling distant and awkward.
If there's one thing I can be proud of that you haven't got, it's interaction skills. Sure, I'm not as good, but at least people like me. I can learn to get better. What do you have?
Things feel right. I can tell when you're happy, I can tell when you're upset. I don't like it when you're upset. Please don't distance yourself. It makes things harder.
Seeing you some eleven years after the fact, I can be proud of myself. I can be proud of who I've grown out of and who I've grown into. I owe so much to you for that, and you don't even know that you've done it. But thank you, all the same. I hope you keep growing as well. Adulthood looks good on us.
Every time you say you're nobody, I smile, and every time you say that I'm amazing, I frown. We're two sides of the same coin. You can deny your good and ignore my bad all you want, but for every good you ignore, I will point one out. That's what family does. We take the bad with the good.
You're gonna make it. Even if we have to go through these dares and challenges to one another every step of the way, you're gonna make it. It's easy to doubt, but really, you're too determined and focused for it to not work.Two: Nine things about yourself.
Somewhere deep inside me is some confidence. I keep it in because I don't want my confidence to turn into cockiness.
I have no idea what life has in store for me, and I don't know at all what I have in store for it.
I don't know how I get by, sometimes. Barring a serious case of "universe is watching out for me", I can't say anything other than I'm lucky.
I'm not very good at getting into habits, which has its advantages, but I'm also not good at getting out of habits, which has its disadvantages.
I doubt everything. It's just that I doubt myself enough that the initial doubt of other things gets overridden.
I'm not very good at revising poetry.
I get gut feelings about people instantly. I feel bad when people are trying to connect and I distance myself from them, but I've regretted every moment I've doubted my gut instinct and talked to someone I felt weird about. Alternately, I love when my gut tells me to talk to someone, it usually leads to good friendships.
I listen to music because it gets my soul to explain things I can't otherwise put to words.
When angry, I become incredibly snarky. This is a coping mechanism because I'm also very non-confrontational.Three: Eight ways to win your heart.
Don't be one of those people my gut tells me not to talk to.
Listen, hear, and understand. I don't say things for the sake of testing my vocal cords, I sing for that.
Being able to laugh at yourself.
Taking the good with the bad.
Knowing how I'm feeling by the way I express myself.
Getting along with my friends and family.Four: Seven things that cross your mind a lot.
This isn't good enough.
I should get that done now.
I hope everything's okay.
There's not enough time to get all of this done.
Hopefully this goes over well.
I don't talk to people much anymore.Five: Six things you wish you'd never done.
Broken those CDs.
Spent that much money in one place.
Let myself open up to someone I knew I shouldn't trust.
Gone on stage without knowing the music.
Chickened out.Six: Five people who mean a lot(in no order whatsoever).
Juli, Jenene, Nessa, KC, AaliyahSeven: Four turn offs.
Lack of personal hygiene.
Unhealthy body weight.Day Eight: Three turn ons.
A good smile.
Someone who looks good dressed casual or dressed up.
An intelligent personality.Day Nine: Two smileys that describe your life right now. Day Ten: One confession.
I'm scared by the fact that I don't have dreams or goals the way other people do. I don't know what I want from life, at all.